In Case This Might Help You...

Dear Carly, how many times did I say, ‘have you done you homework yet’, ‘what have you done and what do you have left’, ‘get back to work’, or ‘time to get off the phone’. Compare that to how many times I said ‘I love you’, ‘gimme a hug’, ‘have a great day’, ‘you are beautiful’. And when you weigh it all in the balance what kind of father did you have, one who mostly encourages and only reproves occasionally or the other way around?

And Lord how I just presumed you would always be here. And my God how I just assumed you would get well soon like any other time you’ve been sick. You are so wonderful, I thought I knew you, and I did, until some other facet of the depth of your life would glimmer and attract me and I would learn something new. You were a deep thinker and your beauty multiplied many times over during your short life, and you were getting better and better as you flowered to womanhood. I cherish every memory of you and I miss you fiercely and I want to bring you back so badly and I know I can’t.

As I look at all your pictures from over the years I feel the normal sorrow of a parent watching the years flow by. First we lost our baby to the toddler, then we lost our toddler to the child, then we lost our child to the young adult. But then alas we lost you to heaven and our Lord. Because we know you loved our Lord though, we know we haven’t lost you utterly. As devastating as this is, how much worse would it be if you had had no regard for the Lord, or if you had been rebellious against your mother and me, or if you had not been such a close friend to your sister?

You left us at the tender age of fifteen, but you were also a mature young Christian woman. You asked and pondered the deep questions of life and death and eternity and you found the answers in Christ, and mysteriously it seems you were prepared. I know you fought a good fight, you finished your course, and you kept the faith. I don’t want to admit it but at the tender age of fifteen I know you finished your course.

Many of our friends and family have said things like ‘what can I do for you’, ‘we are there for you’, ‘if you need anything just ask’. And we HAVE asked many of you to do this or that and you’ve done it, and many of you have done much more without being asked. And many of you have done much without anyone knowing about it. And we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

But now I want to tell you what we really want you to do for us (especially you fathers):

We want you to slow down

We want you to think deeply about your own short life

Think about your own impending death. Your life on earth will be over very soon.

Think about where you came from and where you are going. Did you come from chaos? From the primordial soup? Or are you made by God in His image?

Be reconciled to God. God has rules, and they are ours to keep for our obedience and for our blessing. We all break His rules, and he extends forgiveness through Christ.

Be reconciled to each other. Your loved ones love and need you. Dig into your heart and find where you’ve hurt them and make it right.

Be kind and tenderhearted to each other. Say ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘you’re welcome’, ‘I’m sorry’, and ‘I forgive you’ and teach your children to do the same

If you have children then hug them and love them and spend quantity time with them. Quality time will come with the quantity time.

If you have been reconciled to God then do everything in your power to make sure your children are also reconciled to God. Make sure your children are learning about the world from God’s perspective.

Take full responsibility for the education you are providing for your children. The education they are receiving is according to YOUR decisions and choices. YOU are responsible. Are they learning to think God’s thoughts after Him? Are they learning to apply God’s word to every area of thought and life? Or are you losing them?

Think about who their teachers and counselors are and who is influencing them most. Guard them and shield them until they are strong.

Do everything in your power to NOT lose your children utterly.

THESE are the things you can do for us, and we want you to start doing them now and keep doing them for the rest of your lives. In a moment we are going to have a time of feasting where we can all get started. Thank you very much for coming and for pouring your lives out with ours.